General Discussion

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Seeing as how I have a young daughter, and will someday have to deal with idiots,...er, I mean boyfriends, I found this list which I am going to have plastered all over my house when that time comes:

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a
package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her,
so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot
keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove
them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to
wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off
their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of
your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open
minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come
to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too
big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your
clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with
my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers
securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without
utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me
elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill
you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each
other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the
day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you
is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back
at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is
"early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to
date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my
daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you
will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you.
If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear,
and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want
to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter
is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than
painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why
don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:
Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden
stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within
eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is
dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient
temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank
tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater,
and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a
strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which
features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes
are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding,
middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my
daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I
ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell
me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a
shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle
with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake
the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a
rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the
voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for
you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway
you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the
perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought
my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is
no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is
mine.

Your daughter may get mad....very mad

extremely mad...

enraged in fury of hate towards your existance....

Just like a Dad should do

<------- 999 posts

This has been around for a while.  It was originally 8 rules and the 2 other ones were added at a later date.

Originally posted by Illius

This has been around for a while.  It was originally 8 rules and the 2 other ones were added at a later date.

Hell, Jack Thompson can be my lawyer.

Seven and eight seem a little unfair, but other then that, fun to see that shotgun at the door dads are still around.

For everyone except me.

I'm 18 years old college studen who happens to be single at the moment. In other words, your worst nightmare, and let me tell you that being the overprotective father when your daughter is in the years between 16 and 19, will only work against you. Being overprotective to the point where you do anything that is mentioned on the list shows that you do not trust your daughter and she will notice.It doesn't matter if you try to boss around your daughter or her boyfriend, she will take it as a sign that you do not trust her.

The cold hard fact of the matter is that girls around the age of 16 don't give a crap about what you, as a father, think what she should or should not do with boys. If you don't allow her to kiss a guy in front of you, she will kiss him behind your back, it's that simple. By being overprotective and thus showing you do not trust her, you're damaging the bond you have with your daughter. This means that if she ever really needs you, she might not come to you.

Teens will make their own decisions when it comes to relationships. They decide how to have their relationship, not you. Things like relationships are experiences, and every person needs to learn from them. You need to help them make the right decisions, not make the decisions for them.

But that's just the way I see it.

Originally posted by Gameloading

I'm 18 years old college studen who happens to be single at the moment. In other words, your worst nightmare, and let me tell you that being the overprotective father when your daughter is in the years between 16 and 19, will only work against you. Being overprotective to the point where you do anything that is mentioned on the list shows that you do not trust your daughter, and she will notice, and it doesn't matter if you try to boss around your daughter or her boyfriend, she will take it as a sign that you do not trust her.

The cold hard fact of the matter is that girls around the age of 16 don't give a crap about what you, as a father, think what she should or should not do with boys. If you don't allow her to kiss a guy in front of you, she will kiss him behind your back, it's that simple. By being overprotective and thus showing you do not trust her, you're damaging the bond you have with your daughter. This means that if she ever really needs you, she might not come to you.

Teens will make their own decisions when it comes to relationships. They decide how to have their relationship, not you. Things like relationships are experiences, and every person needs to learn from them. You need to help them make the right decisions, not make the decisions for them.

But that's just the way I see it.

 

But see, I'm 35. And I remember every trick of the book when it comes to circumventing daddy to get what I want from the girl. This is what puts me ahead of the game. Far as trust, I'll trust my daughter in every thing she does. That doesn't mean I'll trust her boyfriends any further than I can sling 'em from a moving truck.

Originally posted by Zorvan

Originally posted by Gameloading

I'm 18 years old college studen who happens to be single at the moment. In other words, your worst nightmare, and let me tell you that being the overprotective father when your daughter is in the years between 16 and 19, will only work against you. Being overprotective to the point where you do anything that is mentioned on the list shows that you do not trust your daughter, and she will notice, and it doesn't matter if you try to boss around your daughter or her boyfriend, she will take it as a sign that you do not trust her.

The cold hard fact of the matter is that girls around the age of 16 don't give a crap about what you, as a father, think what she should or should not do with boys. If you don't allow her to kiss a guy in front of you, she will kiss him behind your back, it's that simple. By being overprotective and thus showing you do not trust her, you're damaging the bond you have with your daughter. This means that if she ever really needs you, she might not come to you.

Teens will make their own decisions when it comes to relationships. They decide how to have their relationship, not you. Things like relationships are experiences, and every person needs to learn from them. You need to help them make the right decisions, not make the decisions for them.

But that's just the way I see it.

 

But see, I'm 35. And I remember every trick of the book when it comes to circumventing daddy to get what I want from the girl. This is what puts me ahead of the game. Far as trust, I'll trust my daughter in every thing she does. That doesn't mean I'll trust her boyfriends any further than I can sling 'em from a moving truck.

You say you know every trick of the book? Well, let's just say that you still have an old edition, and there is a new edition every few years.

Originally posted by Zorvan

Originally posted by Gameloading

I'm 18 years old college studen who happens to be single at the moment. In other words, your worst nightmare, and let me tell you that being the overprotective father when your daughter is in the years between 16 and 19, will only work against you. Being overprotective to the point where you do anything that is mentioned on the list shows that you do not trust your daughter, and she will notice, and it doesn't matter if you try to boss around your daughter or her boyfriend, she will take it as a sign that you do not trust her.

The cold hard fact of the matter is that girls around the age of 16 don't give a crap about what you, as a father, think what she should or should not do with boys. If you don't allow her to kiss a guy in front of you, she will kiss him behind your back, it's that simple. By being overprotective and thus showing you do not trust her, you're damaging the bond you have with your daughter. This means that if she ever really needs you, she might not come to you.

Teens will make their own decisions when it comes to relationships. They decide how to have their relationship, not you. Things like relationships are experiences, and every person needs to learn from them. You need to help them make the right decisions, not make the decisions for them.

But that's just the way I see it.

 

But see, I'm 35. And I remember every trick of the book when it comes to circumventing daddy to get what I want from the girl. This is what puts me ahead of the game. Far as trust, I'll trust my daughter in every thing she does. That doesn't mean I'll trust her boyfriends any further than I can sling 'em from a moving truck.