All Posts by Xexima

Originally posted by ginetti

What the hell, I'll share.

I really liked this girl, and we'd been on about 5 dates.  We'd made out and stuff, but we hadn't slept together yet.

So on the 6th date, I decided to pull out all the stops.  I rocked up to her place with flowers, took her to an expensive restaurant (steak) and then to a play that she'd been wanting to see.  The play wasn't half bad, considering i never go to those things, but it made her especially happy.

After the play we walked to a cozy little bar and had some port.  She was laughing and giggling, and talking about what a 'perfect night this is' and how she loved the play etc.

So that's when I said "The night doesn't have to end here".  I think she got the hint because she gave me a wry smile and said "We can go to mine and watch tv or whatever, my flat mate is away until monday"

I thought "Score".

I really liked this girl, she was smart, pretty and fun.

We got to hers and she told me to pour myself a drink, while she went to get changed.

I helped myself to some jacks and found coke in the fridge, settled in on the couch and switched on the TV to see a rerun of one of the police academy films.

She came into the room wearing a long t shirt and boxer shorts.  She took my drink from my hand and had a sip.  

I said "what about a tour of your place" and she replied "sure"

We went to her bedroom, and she was saying something about it, when i grabbed her and kissed her.  We sat on the bed and made out, and then she asked "do you have protection?"  

I managed to say something like yeah, not sure, i was getting dizzy.  

She told me to get ready and that she'd be right back.  

I threw my gear off and got into her bed.  When i noticed something really odd.  It was a picture of her Dad hanging on her wall.  Nothing odd about that usually, i'd met the guy and he seemed nice but, this was a big photo, maybe 1m by 1m handing on her wall, directly opposite her bed.

He was a young guy, with one of those permanent 5 o'clock shadows.

I don't know why i did this, but i took the frame off the wall and looked closely at it.  It was a head and shoulders of him, he was in a navy blue suit.

I went back to bed and sat on the side, when she called out "wont be long" and i yelled back "no worries babe, take your time"

That's when a single tear escaped from me.  I started to sob.  I knew then, what I know now.  

Sobbing like a kid who'd fallen off his bike, i placed the frame on her bed, with her dad facing up and positioned myself over him.

I began to stroke it like i'd never stroked it before.  I wasn't myself.  Or was I.  Maybe I was Me for the first time ever.

I feverishly tugged myself, i was a crazed artist, a painter of masterpieces, my penis was my brush, and he was my muse.

I was hypnotized by his gaze and could not take my eyes of his as i held my body over the large frame.

My trance broke however when i heard a shriek from the door, and i turned to see my GF standing there, in a sexy nightie and a look on her face that personifies horror.

My knees buckled and fell to the bed as I tried to talk "Babe i..." when i suddenly released mounds of my pent up little soldiers all over her dads forehead and right cheek... on his tie and more.  It just kept coming.

I turned to face her, to look her in the eyes and plead to her my sorrow, but my penis had unfinished business, as it continued to release glob after glob of my white nectar onto her cherished childhood teddy bear that she slept with every night "mr fuzzy".

She screamed for me to get out.

I stood up, kissed my fingers and placed them ever so gently on her fathers clean, and whispered under my breath "you complete me". I know it's just a picture and all, but at that moment his smile seemed to widen, or maybe just my mind playing tricks on me.  His eyes were kinda covered in semen so it was hard to tell anyway.

As i passed her i paused, let out a wet fart and said "your apartment is kinda gay"

on the way out i stole an apple from her kitchen.

Don't feel bad, it happens to the best of us.

Hell, the kid gets my props, how often do you hear of a 9yo that gets a book published?

Originally posted by Finwe

I don't think either.

I think the kid is probably linguistically gifted and happens to be an extrovert. Girls find him cute, so he has alot of attention from them of all ages, thus it has allowed him to be comfortable around them. And probably because of that, like any woman will when given a chance, is spill themselves to the first non-judgmental soul about. That soul may happen to be a 9 year old kid.

I'm sure he's picked up quite a bit for a 9 year old, and because he knows how to write quite decently for his age, his parents have urged him to capitalize on it.

Voila, this is born.

No surprise there.

It's not the talking to girls part that gets me, it's getting them to do what you want them to do that I have trouble with (i.e. Make me a sandwich; get me a beer; Get on your knees, etc.).  I even add "bitch" to the end of all of my sentences, and they still don't seem to listen.  I may end up just getting a bat, that would totally help.

What they didn't know was that she died from an untreated yeast infection.

Originally posted by Briansho

I usually get those if I sleep in on the weekends or holidays too late. I get stuck in a sleep/wake trance a few hours after getting up. Sometimes I can go back to the dream and continue where I left off.

Same, I'm very right brained, so when I dream everything seems as real as if I were awake.  The only difference is that I can somewhat control what happens in a dream.  I often wake up thinking I'm missing something (i.e. money, a car, etc.) that I had in a dream, or that something happened that actually did not.  I usually correct myself within a few minutes from the time I woke up.

Coffee is great with a cigarette.. only time I ever drink it is when I go to starbucks to sit outside and talk with friends.

Originally posted by Vendayn

Well actually...if online dates count. There was that fat boy from neopets laughing at me because he pretended to be a girl. That was horrible

No, not at all.

It means that you are going to die from occular cancer.  You have three months, spend them wisely.

Mickey D's is only good at 1am on a munchie run.  Well, it is also good if you get off to explosive diarhea.

Originally posted by sugar_kite

 hey! wats up? i am a newbie here! my ideal career would b a lawyor!  

Good luck with that...

Yeah, I want to be a doctor, I'm going to UNT for a BA in Biology right now.. If only my grades could be up to par with the requirements for med school.  If not that I'll probably do something in pharmacuetical research.

I could always just drop that whole dream and attempt at an english degree, but the only thing I could really think of in that field is teaching.  If I had to teach then I would have to be a college professor, screw high school kids; my class caused enough trouble in our four (for some, five) years.

Originally posted by kobie173

Vampires aren't real. Just FYI.

YOU ARE A LIAR AND A THIEF!

Just a thought:  Obama is not even in office and everyone is saying that the country is gonna go to hell, why don't we all just give it a year without pre-judging like mother fuckers?  I don't know how badly or well it will go, and neither does anyone else on this board, I say give Obama a fucking chance, he can't be nearly as bad as Bush was.

You actually need evidence to show that most media outlets are very left wing? 

By the way, a lot of reporters don't actually go back and look for a backstory or supporting evidence when coming up with a story.  They aren't detectives, they are idiots who say anything as long as it will interest the american populace. 

All media outlets make mistakes, this one was just on the part of a left wing one so we all have to go and attack it...  Plus, fox still aired the story...msnbc corrected themselves on it.

And this hoax wasn't something that completely destroyed the election, Barak Obama would have won either way.  It doesn't take a fake news story to tell me that Palin is an idiot.

With only 750 words no good writer could possibly create a good story. 

Too many...  I'm pretty sure I only deserved one.  And "Long term members and recognizable names are left alone"?  Bullshit.  In fact, most of the long term members are no longer here because of bans, just search the subject and you'll see.

www.youtube.com/watch

Originally posted by gnomexxx

 

But I have taken the ACT (got a 34) and the ASVAB (98 though I'm not sure what that means, maybe I got a 98/100 on it, never really checked, just remember them all freaking out).

 

That means that you scored in the 98th percentile of people who took the asvab.  You can only get up to a 99.  Basically, you did really fuckin good.  A friend of mine got a 99 on it,  I still call him dumb. 

I did take an IQ test a long time ago ( 4th grade) and scored a 164.  I don't know how I'd do now, I did just take the mensa "fun test" and scored 28 out of 31.  It said I had a good chance of passing the actual mensa test, but I probably will never take it. 

As for enigma, you said the guy seemed humble,  If you watch part 2 and especially part 3 of the interview, you'll see how arrogant the guy actually is.  At first I respected him, then it became apparant that he is just an ass, a smart one at that.

breathe - prodegy

bushmonkey, cars drive with better gas mileage on the highway, how, in anyway would lowering the speed limit on highways cheapen the price of gas?  that might have worked for cars 35 years ago, but I'm sure that cars are more efficient nowadays.   Lets try this: make citizens apply to be able to drive trucks and suvs; only people with valid reason to own such a vehicle should be allowed to drive one (ie farm workers, businesses, etc.). And use the commerce clause so the government can take more control over gas prices.

There are some good people, then there are some bad.  The rest seem to be fairly indifferent.